


When to Put the Fun (Between Your Legs)

by solarift



Category: Kingsman, Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: M/M, Motorbikes, living the life Eggsy, plotting Harry, smug Gawain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-09
Updated: 2015-07-09
Packaged: 2018-04-08 10:44:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4301709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/solarift/pseuds/solarift
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In retrospect, Harry Hart thought, it was probably a terrible idea giving Eggsy free reign over the arsenal of Kingsman vehicles.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When to Put the Fun (Between Your Legs)

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own Kingsman and make no money off this piece of fiction.

In retrospect, Harry thought watching Eggsy from the safety of his town car, it was probably a terrible idea giving Eggsy free reign over the arsenal of Kingsman vehicles.

After all, he’d once made the unfortunate mistake of guffawing at Eggsy when the boy had told him why he’d been taken in and detained at the police station before he’d used the medallion. More unfortunately, they’d been in Harry’s car when his grievous error bit him in the ass.

Harry will absolutely never doubt Eggsy’s ability behind the wheel, nor the "tricks" he's able to pull off while operating a motorized vehicle. The moment he returned to headquarters he was still a little more than stunned as he entered Merlin's office without knocking. He fell into a cushy chair with, as Eggsy would put it, "zero fucks" about being a gentlemen right then. Harry held a clenched hand to his stomach, feeling uncomfortably close to retching.

"You look like hell, Arthur," Merlin commented dryly.

"Remind me later to put a note in Eggsy's file, one that specifically cites he is never allowed to operate, own or be within 500 feet of a motorized vehicle," he stated tiredly. Harry took a deep breath before tacking on, "- _regardless_ of whether it's running or not."

Merlin spared him a look before shaking his head, not even bothering to tell Harry how ridiculous he was being. Harry mumble-grumbled in response. "On that note, was his driving up to par?”

Harry gave his friend a withering look as he continued to plan someway to- Oh. “Maybe I could fashion a microbotic chip that could simply be implanted just beneath his skin. Then I could code that chip, so whenever he goes near any vehicle, the microbotic chip would then send out electromagnetic pulses that would deactivate any-”

“ _Christ_ , Harry," Merlin chuckled, clapping his friend on the shoulder. "And I think you mean yeh'd make me code the chip; you’re completely shite at code.”

“I could just hold a gun to your head, Merlin.”

Merlin rolled his eyes. “Yes, because the last time that happened it worked out _so_ well for you. Besides, I’m not about to help your obsessive compulsions, nor am I going to be responsible for putting something under Eggsy’s skin without him knowing. No thank you; he’s far more unpredictable than you are and I’d hate to know what he’d have in store for me if I’d help you violate his trust like that.”

“Bugger it,” Harry cursed under his breath.

“If you think he’s inept at driving I’m sure Gawain wouldn’t mind teaching the boy-"

“That’s not it. He has the necessary skills. I hate to say it but Gawain had better watch out, Eggsy just might be better than he is behind the wheel. The problem is that he’s reckless, thinks himself as some sort of Evel Knievel!” 

Merlin’s face softened at his friend’s worry. “Harry, he’s a fine driver. And if he’s ever sent on a mission that requires an automobile he’ll be in good hands; you know Kingsman has the best. Don’t worry so much, you’re letting your age show, old friend,” Merlin chortled as he walked out of his office, leaving Harry to think on his own.

But his talk with Merlin didn’t stop the nagging worry it did give him the idea of introducing Eggsy to when Gawain took them on a tour of the Kingsman vehicles, a tour that Harry had been on far too many times to hold his attention. At least until Eggsy perked up when they came upon the motorbikes. Harry was on high alert then, what with knowing Eggsy’s backwards, weaving around in traffic like some sort of kamikaze. As the boy inspected the deathtraps Harry gave Gawain, who was the head of said deathtrap’s department, a look that clearly said absolutely not before Gawain grinned his infuriating grin and offered one of the bikes to Eggsy who beamed and accepted not a millisecond after the offer was given.

“Absolutely not,” Harry said, aghast. “No, Eggsy.”

“Yes, Harry!” Eggsy sassed back, grinning ear to ear, as he threw his leg over the motorbike.

And the cheek of the boy, Harry thought, when Eggsy looked at him from under his eyelashes and said, “Want to ride me…” the boy paused for dramatic effect, (yes, Harry did want to ride him but that was neither here nor ther-) “…bike?” Eggsy finished, grinning lasciviously. 

“There’s a good boy-” Gawain praised as he showed Eggsy the proper footing and handling of the thing, Eggsy picking up the quick lesson with ease. Harry would have words with Gawain, possibly even engage in some old fashioned vehicular vandalism when the other man was on a mission.

That was how it’d all began and why Harry was making sure the young man stayed safe even a week after he’d gotten his motor-death-trap-bike operating license.

But good god did he fill out those leather trousers well. Eggsy looked over his shoulder then and caught the surely indecent look Harry’d been giving him.

“Com’ on, ‘arry, stop stalking me and come for a ride! You really need to learn….” Eggsy trailed off as he ran a hand down his thigh, Harry’s eyes trailing the movement. “When to put the _fun_ between your legs.”

 _Bloody hell_ , Harry swallowed hard. He knew without a doubt that the young man would get him straddling his new motorbike in no time.

Harry got out of his car and stalked toward Eggsy. Oh, he’d rise to the challenge Eggsy was sending his way, and maybe later he’d have Eggsy’s legs straddling Harry and rising and falling and-… 

_Damn it all_ , Harry cursed. This man would be the death of him.


End file.
